The beginning of a new season...starts with an end to the old one

My girls (and their mama!) have been so thrilled this week that we could finally venture outside without coats and hats! We like to count the crocuses that grow wild around our neighborhood. Yesterday I finally caved to their enthusiasm and allowed the girls to pick just a few for me. And of course, the charm of this season inspired me to create a bit of my very own spring magic. This is just a peek at my newest collage--the first in a series of flowers, still in the works. Hope to add a print of this to my Etsy shop next week!

We savor our daily walks home from Kindergarten, especially now that spring has finally arrived and we only have a few more weeks to enjoy it on this side of the Atlantic. If I could take the tree-lined path and the quaint nooks and hiding places of our little corner of Germany home with us to Colorado, I so would!

Since announcing my pregnancy and our move back to the States two weeks ago, the reality of both has come crashing down upon me in alternating floods of excitement and tears. It feels like I can barely put two thoughts together as I pack and try to process the changes that are coming. So I appreciate all your kind words of encouragement and congratulations, my friends! And your patience with me as silence tends to reign more often than not these days on my blog. I can't tell you how much it helps us get through the more "bitter" part of moving again, knowing all the "sweetness" that lies on the other side--all of the people who are truly happy for us and sharing in our joy!

Today I forced myself to sit down and connect the thoughts, because I want to tell you a bit of the story:

You never know what surprises life has in store for you. Just when you think you're settled and content, God whispers in your ear that He is doing a "new thing." That's what happened to us at the end of 2012. I had begun to feel a restlessness at the end of the summer, but then I wrote this post, celebrating our two-year "Germany anniversary" and the new sense of peace I was feeling. That's when the whispers began. It was a whole new brand of homesickness--one I had not yet experienced. It wasn't a desperate feeling or a sudden need to run away, to escape. It was just a quiet sense of knowing. All this time I've been learning that no matter where we go, we carry with us a home in our hearts and in the hearts of the ones we love. But suddenly I knew that this same love could also carry me back to the place and to the people with whom my heart most feels at home. And since there will be more of those people soon--I'm going to become an aunt this summer!!!--the choice became clear.

I kept quiet about it for a while, didn't even mention it to my husband for at least a month, thinking the feeling would go back into hibernation as it usually does. Instead, the peace grew more palpable, the pull towards "home" stronger and stronger, a sense of belonging there greater than I had ever known. Turns out that in his own way, Tobi had been feeling it too. Of course, he is German and here we live closer to his side of our family. But Tobi lived in the US from the ages of 17 to 27--most of the years of his adult life, and nine of the nearly twelve years of our life together. Anyway, there wasn't even much of a "discussion" about it. It was simply one of those moments in our marriage when we were almost instantly of the same mind: we would be going home sometime in early 2014. Actaully, it was a moment not unlike the one in which we knew that we were suppsed to move to Germany. And even though regret is often such a tempting place, in no way do we regret our time here; rather, we cherish it. Our hearts are even bigger now because of the precious friends and family whom we love in Hamburg! We had to live in Germany for a while to figure it out, but now we know where we belong.

Of course, the timeline has been pushed up a bit since we are now figuring one more Schilling into the adventure! And quite a few other things served to confirm this direction for our family and show us that the time is now rather than later--even when most of this looks absolutely crazy to our earthly eyes. But we say, "Yes, Lord!," trusting in His provision and in His promise that "the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are unseen are eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:18). 

Blessed with Good Things....Good, GOOD Things!

 

When I started working on this little family of owls a few months ago, I had no idea my art was coming to life inside of me! But before it was even finished we discovered the wonderful news--this fall we will be adding a third baby "chick" to our own nest! What a very special piece this will always be to me--it's incredible the way art imitates life...or is it the other way around?

And the other news: in just SIX WEEKS we will be spreading our wings and flying back home--to stay! Ahhh, I can't believe it; I've been on the verge of tears the whole of this gray Hamburg day (not merely at the sight of the snow flurries blowing around outside my window). It is certainly bittersweet and I'll share more of the story soon. But mostly I'm teary from the anticipation of warm hugs from family and friends, most of whom we haven't seen in nearly three years...and the warm, bright, beautiful, healing Colorado SUNSHINE!!! What a banquet of precious gifts; thank you Lord! 

"He has brought me to His banqueting house

and His banner over me is love."

Song of Solomon 2:4

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High

will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty...

He will cover you with his feathers.

He will shelter you with his wings.

His faithful promises are your armor and protection."

Psalm 91:1,4

Finally, Sunshine and BLUE SKY!!!

The sun is finally shining from blue skies in Hamburg
and we are enjoying it--never mind the snow and freezing temperatures.
But looking at those two sweet, happy faces reminds me
that in my daughters I've already got the brightest sunshine
any ol' gloomy day of the year!

It's a big, BIG love! Whale with Coral Illustration Finished!

Love as big as a whale! (Well, bigger, really.)
Sweet and serene, but full of reassuring and undeniable power.
"I love you high and deep and long and wide"
--my paraphrase of the heart of Ephesians 3:14-21.

The original is collage, watercolor and white-on-white gouache
on a creamy handmade cotton rag paper
(see my work-in-progress here)
but I added a minty green to the digital version
to pick up on the color of the blue coral.

Happy Friday! 

It Snowed Sideways

We awoke yesterday morning to windows caked in snow and a fresh, deep winter wonderland outside. My four-year-old threw her hands into the air and said in an exasperated tone, "but it's supposed to be SPRING!" My sentiments exactly, baby girl.  

The trees with their long white stripes made me laugh when I saw them after dropping the girls off at preschool--it seems to have snowed sideways! Later in the day, on our way home, my daughters spotted with their spring-hungry eyes the bit of yellow peeping out from snow-crusted branches. Yes, it's snowing again today but we are still holding out hope! 

Whale Art in Progress--Watercolor, Gouache and Collage

My work-in-progress this week is a Minke whale with coral and lace.
This is what I'm trying to achieve: can I make a whale feel sweet and delicate?



Scraps of paper for adding to my collage and inspiring my color palette.



I always do my initial drawing on transparent paper.
Then I trace over the drawing on the back side of the paper
and trace over it again on the front side, transferring it to my watercolor paper.



I recently started experimenting with gouache paint
and discovered how much I love painting white-on-cream! I think it's because
here in Germany we've had the darkest winter in at least 60 years, and I just crave
white and bright. This craving seems to be really changing my work lately.



Now I'm coloring the coral with watercolor pencil on handmade cotton-rag paper.
Then I paint over the watercolor pencil with water and a bit of gouache mixed in.
Can't wait to finish it up!

Trying New Things

It feels like my heart has been away from this blog for a looong time, taking what you might call an unofficial "sabbatical" leave of sorts. As I journaled my way out of 2012 and into the new year, I realized that 2013 is the seventh year since I began pursuing my "becoming" as an artist. The most overwhelming piece of the creative life I've discovered in this process is the ebb and flow--the frustrating and paralyzing lack of inspiration at times, and the other times of rushing, gushing, falling-in-love-with-art productivity.

What I've realized in taking this surprise break from blogging is that I'm honestly kind of tired of always trying to figure it out--this life of creativity, of soul, of making it through the day-to-day. I want to be content in living in between the highs and lows, at just the right point of the ebb and flow. I want to find my sweet spot and just be me, no matter what is staring me down in life at the moment.

I've been a little saddened by my time away from this blog, wondering why it wasn't so important to me anymore. But I was also making it a point to give myself grace--no guilt or feelings of "obligation" to post here all of the time. Since the word sabbatical came to me, I realized that this is exactly what it was--a time of rest in the seventh year; a time to re-evaluate, re-charge and revolutionize my way of thinking! Isn't this cool? 

So today I'm here to say a big "hello friends!" and joyfully announce that I feel revived! As you might have noticed, I'm freshening up things around here, going for a clean and simple look that will help me to, like I said, "just be me." Hope you can take a minute to say hello. I'll be back tomorrow with a peek at what's been happening lately in my studio--my work has also taken a turn toward the fresh, clean and simple, and I am loving it!